"Miracle"Suit...yeah, right!

I am going to be in my friend's wedding in April. I am so happy to be a part of her big day...and she chose black for the bridesmaids' dresses, which is awesome. So...in my quest to get ready to go have my dress fitted this week, I went to find shoes and also a strapless bra. The shoe-buying was no big deal. The bra-buying, however...

I decide to go to Belk, and head on over to the Intimates department. (Can I just take a minute to say that I am so very thankful that they have women working in this department? And not just women, but, normal, non-judgemental women at that!)

I start looking around and one of the sales ladies comes over and asks if I need help. Boy, did I. I told her that I needed a strapless bra and that I wanted something that would "suck everything in." She cracked up laughing and led me to the Miraclesuits. I chose one of the bathing suit kinds and she measured me and I took two different sizes to the dressing room.

I put on the bigger size first and it was a disaster and a half from the beginning. The cups were too big and just had big open spaces underneath my boobs...and, trust me, there are never any big open spaces underneath my boobs. So...I go to the smaller one. This one worked better in the cup-size department and once I fought with it to keep everything it was trying to suck in from bubbling back up, I decided it was probably okay.

Just in the knick of time, the nice sales lady knocks and says, "How is it working for you? Can I see how it's fitting?" And, without waiting for an answer, she comes in...I immediately grab my pants trying to preserve some modesty, but then give up when she looks at me and says, "I just don't like the way they're sitting." I told her that my hubby doesn't either, and she laughed and laughed. She told me to "grab the tissue and pull it in" and said that she wanted to see some more cleavage. No one's asked me to see more cleavage in years! I laughed and pulled them in and told them to "Stay!" She said I may have to tape them. This is getting better and better.

As far as it being a "miracle"suit, I have my doubts. I put my pants on over it, and they did fit a little looser.

I did buy the contraption, but I am thinking I better give it some trial runs before the wedding. I am terrified it is just going to explode. I'm just sayin'...