Ridiculous FB Statuses

I slacked off again, friends, and I am sorry! Keeping my neighbor's kids from 7:15 in the morning until 5:30 in the afternoon is a little tiring! haha! I know there are many many women who take care of multiple children all day every day, but I am fairly new to this, okay? Give me some time...and then maybe I won't want to just crash every night instead of writing a blog. :)

I have some inappropriate FB statuses for you today. These are saved up over the last few weeks.

• _____'s child is an idiot. And I have no problem telling her so. (This one flat-out ticks me off, people! Wrong, wrong, wrong!!)
• _____ just really needs some. You know...SOME! Any takers? (Hmmm...are you talking about SOME milk or SOME rest? I am guessing NO.)
• _____ is like a leaky faucet. I have probably produced and blown out 11 gallons of snot today. (This is just disgusting.)
• _____ wishes my mother-in-law wouldn't criticize every little thing I do. She hates me. (Please go vent about this to your BFF...don't put this out on FB for the world to see, because...guess what!...it's getting back to her and things will just get worse. Note: I did notice later on that the post had been deleted...I just hope it was before any damage was done.)
• _____ doesn't know whether to sit on the toilet or hang over it. D&!n this stomach bug! (Really? We needed to know that?)

Oh, people. Really. I thought we'd covered this. Your status is a precious thing. Put something meaningful up there. Not something offensive or disgusting or that will start a fight with someone or that gives us horrific visuals. I'm just sayin'...